Prepare Prepare Prepare

Well, it's been a while since I posted anything. I'm finding more and more of my time taken with planning and preparing for upcoming weeks. Of course, that's because its almost Advent, that wonderful season right before Christmas in the church that is full of references to Old Testament prophets and John the Baptist. I would have to say this is my favorite liturgical season. While most people, my own choir included, would rather jump ahead and sing the great carols of Christmas, I just like to settle into the preparaton time that Advent allows. I've always found reflections on this season's readings to be the more profound and touching to me. Maybe its because I am still waiting for something in my own life. I've spent much of my life waiting for my life to "begin." Being in school for so long was about getting ready for the "real world." As happy as I am here, I still feel like something isn't quite settled yet. I was approached this morning with the proposition of buying someone's house. The first thing to run through my mind was... Am I really going to be here for 30 years in order to pay off the house? What if I decide to move somewhere else for whatever reason? I am much more comfortable in my apartment with the option of moving somewhere. I guess that stems from not staying in any one place for more than a year since I was 18. So, when I hear John the Baptist say "Prepare in the wilderness a highway for our Lord," I can connect. I am building my own part of the kingdom of God right here in Evansville. This Advent, I am going to try seeing my path as a preparation for the coming of my peace and happiness (aka. the Lord).

Parish meetings

Well, As a parish, we are going through some tough times. At first glance, it might look like we are in financial straits, but I think the difficulty goes much deeper. A couple of months ago, our fearless leader sent out a letter to all the families stating that we were no longer able to continue our high school tuition program. Up till now we have been paying all the parishioners' high school tuition with the expectation that they would contribute much of that back to the parish.

Anyway, we had the first of two meetings on this subject last night, and I went. There were two presentations, one by our building and renovation coordinator and the other was by the head of our finance committee. We have been talking about replacing a building lost in a fire several months ago, and the proposal included a couple of other additions to the campus. Couple that with a somewhat grim financial report, many people were quite upset. After nearly three hours of talking, questioning, reporting and (ahem) mudslinging, I had to leave. There's only so much a guy can take, you know? (BTW.. if someone made one more crack about the music, I dont know what I would have done.. lol)

It's hard to run an organization that tries to take care of hundreds of people. Chances are, any decision you make is going to piss off someone, and probably many people. I would not want to be in Deacon Ed's position. He is trying to do the best thing for the parish, the WHOLE parish. Not an easy task. I hope we can eventually "turn the corner" with this and really become a community, working together for everyone's good. For now, we are trying to address all the concerns and keep moving forward. May God help us.

Think about the future!

I had a rough couple of days recently. Not bad days per se, just really busy. We've had a lot of excitement around here with different events and services. Fr. Attila just got back from vacation as well, which adds to the excitement.

Yesterday, we hosted the diocesan Golden Jubilee mass. For those of you who dont know what that is, it's the celebration of wedding anniversaries for couples who have been together more than 50 years. It was quite impressive to see how many couple came (close to 600 people in total). Our choir put on a mini concert for those who came early, and we had a very nice celebration of love and commitment. The bishop presided, and came out towards the end of the service and recognized each couple by name and had them stand up. As they progressed - 50 - 55 - 60 - 61 - ... - 68, I was just amazed. What would it feel like to be with someone for 68 years of your life? I know I have no chance of ever reaching that as I would have to live to at least 102. As I looked at each couple standing up, I saw this glow in their eyes. Either it was because they were simply being recognized, or maybe it was because they were being recognized for something that has just become part of their life. I wonder when the time comes when you just cant think of doing anything else. Does it ever really cross their minds? Each couple just seemed to fit together, like they were MEANT to be there.



The other big event was a funeral we had this morning. Funerals always tend to get to me in one way or another. When the wife of the man who died called me, she had a dstinct quiver in her voice. I tried to be as calming as I could, assuring her that the family's wishes would be met in the best way I could make it happen. Last night was the memorial service. Hearing about the creativity and passion this man inspired was a blessing for me. He seemed like someone I would have enjoyed getting to know. That got me thinking even more about how I am going to be remembered some day. Are people going to cry when I'm not here? Are they going to remember my corny jokes and quick wit (as if I had any of that to begin with). Are they going to feel inspired by my life in the way this man's family and friends were inspired? I dont know. That makes me really want to make a difference in the world in some way. Or maybe just make a difference in my own family (some day) or church or community or city. Who knows?



All I know is, I have a lot of living to do, and I'm ready to get to it. Speaking of which... back to work.

New Music

Who knew writing a piece of music could be this intensive. I have writen many peices before, but this one I'm writing now is amazingly complex.

A while back, Fr. Attila and I sat down and discussed what we could do to make liturgy and prayer more interesting for our school kids. One of those ideas was to use one of the Eucharistic Prayers for children. We decided I was going to write a new musical setting for that prayer and teach it to everyone involved - musicians, choir, ALL the school kids, and Fr. Attila (who has no small part in this).

I sat down months ago to begin. Once I had all the chord progressions down with the melody and ALL the words, I sent it off to a man in the parish who does some arranging for us. I got the second draft of the arrangement back this weekend, and it is really looking neat. I am so excited, yet kinda worn out by this process. Going through and evaluating a peice of music is hard. I have so much respect for people who do this for a living.

Through the whole thing, though, I am very hopeful that the end result will be fantastic and help the kids to give praise even more energetically. I think this is why I am still excited about my job, too. I need a creative outlet and I have plenty of opportunity for that. I feel like I'm being led by a very creative spirit most of the time. When I'm not, it gets very heavy.

I look forward to more and more of these experiences.

Peaceful Warrior

I have been thinking a lot about this movie I saw last week, and I thought I would share my thoughts with you. It is a lesser known movie called "The Peaceful Warrior." Among others, one of the stars is Nick Nolte (as Socrates, apt enough). He plays a mystic sage to a cocky Olympic hopeful, played by Scott Mechlowitz. This movie is a cross between Karate Kid and The Celestine Prophesy. Socrates becomes a mentor to the young boy and teaches him the "true meaning" of life.

The main lesson really struck me. The whole time, Socrates stresses the importance of really doing what you love no matter what. It's not about getting somewhere or acheiving a goal, per se, but doing what is in your heart. After a tragedy in the boy's life, Socrates encourages him to still do what's in his heart, not to prove anything, but because it's what will make him truely happy.

How hard is it to learn this lesson. What a challenge is it when what we know to be the most important thing in our lives becomes difficult or impossible to do? This is an excellent movie to show kids as they struggle with motivation. One of our coaches at our school wants to show this to his Volleyball team now. Check it out.

Things that Edify

It's been a long time since I added anything to this blog. Life has been crazy: the new job, relationships, life in general. I had a couple experiences over these last couple of days that I thought I would share.

Last night, we had a practice for our "Spirit and Life" Choir. This is a new choir I started in response to requests for a more spirit-filled music repotoire. This is partly the old youth choir here at the parish along with a new band and me at the helm. My team has been phenomenal in this adventure. Anyway, we had a pretty low turn out for practice, but those that were here had great passion for the worship and the music. The last song we were practicing was "Steal Away," an acapella African-American spiritual I've used in several churches along the way. It took us a while to learn the harmonies and the verses and to decide who was singing what part, etc. Once we got the right blend, I was blown away. It was like we couldn't sing it enough. To see the smiles on everyone's faces just sent chills down my spine. You know, sometimes, I wonder if I'm really doing the right thing here, but I had no doubt last night. I went home with the biggest smile on my face, and I am still on that high.

This morning, our school kids had a prayer service instead of our usual mass. With Father Attila being gone on vacation and Deacon Ed tied up, the responsibility fell to me to plan and execute the prayer service. I chose to have a prayer service for the healing of our nation in times of tragedy. With the anniversary of 9/11 so close, and our own fire in the school still fresh in our minds, I thought it was appropriate. I think it went so well. Mrs. Vanhoosier, our principal, agreed to do the reflection after our scripture readings, which was very nice. Everything seemed to mesh so well, I was again on cloud nine.

My office is on the second floor of the church with my large window looking out into the worship space. I was sitting at my desk working on four new prayer services I am going to offer the parish when I looked out and saw a young girl walking up to the altar. I am used to seeing children in the church during the day running about as their parents are here for one reason or another. This time, the family was here to get their pictures taken for our parish photobook. Well, this little girl, no more than three or four years old stopped before getting to the steps leading up, folded her hands and bowed before going up to the ambo (pulpit). I was amazed. I tend to forget to do that myself, but here was this young girl showing such respect. I watched carefully as she stood behind the ambo for a short time and then left the sanctuary. She again stopped and bowed on her way out. It was more than cute, it was awesome in the most profound meaning of the word.

What can I take from these experiences? Our God is an Awesome God, so says the contemporary song writer. In times when I feel stressed and maybe a little lost in my life, God is right there telling me that I am not alone. Sometimes, it takes a few things to really wake me up. I feel like I can live better, love better, and simply BE better. It wont last forever, but this feeling is how I want to feel forever. With God's help and the help of those close to me, maybe I can feel this again soon.

My First Funeral

I had my first funeral as Director of Worship on Monday this week. With the memorial service on Monday evening and funeral Tuesday morning, I was sooooo nervous. What if I didn't pick the right songs? What if my guitar playing was something that they didn't care for? What if I forgot about a part of the service? So many thoughts running through my head the days before. I was quite relieved when I got there and everything went smoothly. I had the assistance of two excellent singers (one song I got to "sit in" on) and the family seemed very pleased with the whole thing. In the mean time, I was able to assemble all my funeral music and then some, so next time, I wont be so nervous.

One thing I did notice was the feeling of being in a sacred space. I was, through my position at the church, invited into this place of remembering and mourning. I watched as the family cried and smiled and told stories about her. I have a lot to learn about the way people are, and this was one of those learning experiences. The faith people have in themselves, each other, and God is truely inspiring.

8th Grade Graduation

Last night, we celebrated the graduation of our 8th Graders with a mass, commencement and reception. What a joy to be part of this event. I hired a piano player to help me out with the music. I played guitar, and we had our school choir present to privide wonderful music. I really enjoy being there with the school choir, and last night was no exeption. Two of the younger girls in the choir pulled me aside before the service began and commented on how nice my dress was I was wearing. When I tried to tell them I wasn't wearing one, they informed me that I had an ugly Pink and Green dress. I thanked them for telling me this and went back to my preparations. Kids have such a way of seeing the world and I tend to be inspired by it. The humor is genuine, without hurt or malice in it. Our next big event will be in August when we host the diocesan school kickoff mass with the Bishop. I love my job.